Before embarking on my Yoga journey, I spent over 10 years as a medical research scientist. Science was my passion and life, and I had no intention of ever leaving it.
My previous roles in medical science were a privilege and a blessing, as I followed through on my childhood dream to explore the miracle of life, spellbound by the intricacy, complexity, and profound order of biological forms, burning to know, "How exactly are they alive?"
In my research, I had the opportunity to delve deep into colon cancer, exploring how anti-cancer drugs interact with cells on a molecular level, and the signalling pathways (akin to domino runs) that the drugs switched on and off. Later in my career, I followed the new wave of advancements in whole genome sequencing and the emerging genomics tools to study the ageing brain and the exciting phenomenon of RNA editing—also known as the ability of the hardwired genome to edit itself based on environmental cues. It’s still super exciting, and I still get a sparkle when writing about it.
Of all the memories from my years as a scientist, the ones I cherish the most are of my interactions with colleagues and mentors, who inspired and influenced me with their curiosity and expansive personalities. This was such a happy period in my life, and I would never have dreamed of leaving my scientific career behind.
What led me to shift my future science aspirations and dissolve my identity as a scientist was a personal physical and mental struggle after the birth of my second child.
During these challenging times, no amount of scientific reasoning or literature helped. Ultimately, it was Yoga that brought me back to a state of well-being.
I wouldn’t say I turned away from science; rather, I followed a different scientific path—one based on experiential evidence and honouring the deep, innate knowledge that goes beyond the reason of the logical mind. I could not have done this if I had stayed “loyal” to the scientific approach and insisted on remaining in my scientific head.
By relinquishing control from the mind, I experienced a powerful transformation.
Later on, in my studies of the history of Yoga, it became very clear to me that Yoga is a science of well-being and realisation beyond the confines of the mind. The practices of Yoga offer technological tools and day-to-day practical steps to achieve the ultimate goals of Yoga.
It turns out that my childhood fascination with life itself found its realisation in exploring life from within, using inner tools and inner perceptions.
In my Yoga classes, participants often tell me that I approach Yoga in a scientific way. This is because I love explaining the benefits of a pose or a breathing technique from a scientific, physical perspective. But I’m not trying to combine my yogic teachings with science. Sometimes they come together, sometimes they deviate far apart, and I know I don’t control any of that. I always teach from personal experience and from the heart, not from the identity of a scientist.
However, you will also hear me say things like: "Surrender to the inner wisdom of your body," "Let the breath be your true guide," and "Visualise the energy (prana) healing and restoring every cell."
I love science, and I love Yoga, and they are not separate in my inner world anymore.
I wholeheartedly surrender to the wisdom of both and strive to live a life from a place of awareness, a bit more consciously, and from a place of love rather than fear.
One of the greatest gifts Yoga has given me is the ability to relinquish the need to identify as a scientist, a Yoga teacher, or even a mum. I am no longer attached to any identity, knowing from personal experience that life can challenge us in the most unpredictable ways, and sometimes we are humbled and thrown out of our depth without warning. The more fluidly we respond and flow with life, the faster we adapt to whatever it calls upon us.
Not fixating on a rigid identity helps remove inner conflict. It prevents us from clinging to a path that has run its course or to a particular belief or image that no longer serves us. At the same time, it opens new horizons and possibilities that would have remained dormant or closed had we insisted on attaching ourselves to particular thinking patterns, identities, images, or beliefs.
Recently, I was in a deep conversation with a fellow mum I have known for over two years. I made a joke about how, when I met my husband, he was the one interested in anything holistic and spiritual, while I was the down-to-earth scientist. Now things have taken a turn in the opposite direction. She exclaimed, “Oh wow, Dessi, I would have never imagined you were a scientist!”
I felt so elated, like someone had just bestowed upon me the greatest gift. For two years, not a hint of such a profound and long part of my identity! I felt so truly blessed and free at that moment, although I know, of course, old habits, beliefs, and identity clingers come and go all the time.
Yet I congratulate myself for staying open, fluid, and not resisting the challenges life throws at me and the lessons I need to learn.
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